Modern Warfare 2 Nightmares, What’s Your Story… “Bacon Assassin”

Bacon Assassin

Modern Warfare 2 has left a permanent impression on all who have played it.  The fast paced action, the over-the-top adrenaline rush all contribute to the chaotic nature in this First-Person Shooter (FPS) video game.  But have you ever dreamt about Call of Duty?  I have.  It’s the kinds of dreams — or nightmares — where you place yourself within the warfield and experience all the following symptoms; anger, anxiety, nervousness, worried, sleep deprived, aggressive etc.  Personally, I have been told by my wife that I occasionally wake up from a dead sleep asking her “If the game is real?”  Mixing Modern Warfare 2 and the movie “Gamer” has been the driver for that dream and I will go in depth when my story is posted.  I’ve asked my fellow MW2 soldiers to participate in our on going piece “Modern Warfare 2 Nightmares” and first up is none other than PSN recruit Zitty21, Dennis.  Aka, the garbage man, Dennis is your run of the mill FPS gamer.  Known to boast when he knives you and stay close to all that is trash, he’s a new player in this FPS world and he’s getting the grasp of it quicker than he thinks.

No Russian

His story is based on his MW2 Nightmare and it’s hysterical.  Just be careful cooking anything of pork descent around him.


I have had many a dream since I starting playing MW2, especially since I started playing
on line Team Death-Match. Of all the dreams there has been one that stands out. Itʼs as equally
hilarious as it is terrifying, and well worth sharing with the world.
It was your typical night of Team Death-Match, you know, sub-par playing with high level
smack talk. There was one guy in particular that had everyone in a killing frenzy. No matter win
or lose this moron would start after every match. His big line was “I RUN THESE STREETS
BITCHES!!!!” over and over again. He would also follow up with some insane comments about
all of our mothers. Needless to say we all hated this guy, and he quickly became public enemy
numero uno. After several hours of playing and listening to this idiot, I decided it was time to
retire to my quarters for a pleasant night of slumber. Moments after falling into a coma like
sleep, the nightmare begins……..
It starts with me being re-spawned in my bedroom, wearing camouflage feety pajamas.
That is the terrifying part of the dream in case you where wondering. I am also holding my trusty
Scar-H assault rifle with heartbeat sensor attachment. I quickly notice a red-dot flashing in what
appears to be my kitchen. So I creep out of my room slowly and start inching towards the
kitchen. As I get closer, there is no doubt, the enemy is in my kitchen and they are cooking
breakfast. I know they are cooking breakfast because I smell burning bacon which of course
means this person must pay and they must pay with there life!!!!. All of a sudden it hits me like
a ton of bricks, there is only one person in my house who would screw up bacon, MY WIFE!!!!
I am confused because why is she on my sensor as the enemy, is it because of this bacon
blunder, or has she in fact defected to the other side. There is only one way to find out if she is
indeed the enemy, bacon aside of course. I carefully sneak a peak to make sure it is her and
that she is in fact the enemy. So sure enough there she is, and I now have no doubt that she is
the enemy because her name is above her head in bright red letters. I now know what my
mission is, take out wifey and cook some new bacon, because nothing gets the appetite going
like the smell of bacon, even if it is on fire. So, I turn the corner, lock in, and unload a full round
on her bacon burning ass. NOTHING, she just stares at me and says,”MY TURN.” I literally
dropped my weapon and am paralyzed with fear, she picks up the large fork she was using and
chucks it deep into my skull. As I lay there on the floor looking up at the ceiling, realizing itʼs time
to paint, she comes into focus and says, “I RUN THESE STREETS, BITCH!!”
I need to get out more.

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